| -- End Ad Box ---> | | | | welcome relief. |
| I have unfortunately been on both sides of this | | | | Bring something that will help make the |
| article. I have spent time visiting friends and family | | | | experience nicer. Blankets, new pajamas, slippers, |
| when they have been sick, but I have more | | | | new lotions, soaps, or a soft pillow can make the |
| often been the patient everyone is visiting. Many | | | | time spent in bed for a patient more enjoyable. |
| of the visits went very well, but unfortunately | | | | Gifts like these will be much appreciated. |
| others didn’t go so well for them or me. | | | | Ask nurses or caregivers if it is ok to give the |
| Hopefully my mistakes or my tips from | | | | patient food or treats. Bring the patient their |
| experience will help you. | | | | favorite candy or snack. If they are having |
| Visiting someone who is sick isn’t always | | | | appetite trouble maybe a gift of their favorite |
| easy, but it can be an enjoyable time and it | | | | food might help. |
| should primarily be a comfort for the patient. | | | | 5. Have Fun. Bring an activity with you. |
| Many family members and friends find it difficult | | | | Sometimes we learn the most about someone |
| to visit someone who is sick. If the person is in | | | | while doing something together. It takes the |
| the hospital, it may be more difficult for some to | | | | pressure off coming up with conversation, while |
| visit because of past negative experiences they | | | | providing a non-threatening atmosphere. The |
| have had at a hospital. Many visitors are anxious | | | | focus becomes the activity and not the person |
| or find it stressful to be around a patient because | | | | and their disability and that is refreshing. It could |
| they are dealing with their own fears of sickness. | | | | be a board game, craft activity, movie, or even |
| It is natural to hesitate in seeing someone you | | | | food. If the individual has a computer, you could |
| love or care about, who is in pain or seriously ill. | | | | surf the net for helpful resources or community |
| Unfortunately, many people end up not visiting, | | | | services. Bring the newspaper and talk about |
| because they do not know what to do or say to | | | | current events. Give her a manicure or fix her |
| help. | | | | hair. Bring a friend or children to visit. Be creative. |
| Most patients I have spoken to just want the | | | | Some of my best memories in the hospital were |
| company. They want to feel loved and thought | | | | when my mom played Scrabble with me all night |
| about. They do not want to be forgotten, though | | | | until I fell asleep. It was great to get my mind of |
| they might be out of the social loop. | | | | being sick and it also was a great way for us to |
| I know when I was sick and had visitors it was a | | | | pass the time. |
| welcome distraction from the reality of what was | | | | 6. When visiting, help with concrete tasks. After |
| going on. It was nice to at least try to forget and | | | | getting the sick person’s consent; help by |
| feel normal even for only a short time. | | | | straightening the bed, watering plants, |
| When visiting someone who is sick, here are | | | | straightening up the room, or any other chore |
| some suggestions that may help both the visitor | | | | that helps the patient or makes their surroundings |
| and the patient. | | | | look well attended. |
| 1. Before visiting the patient, phone ahead to let | | | | It also might be helpful to offer to do things in the |
| him or her know you are coming. That is just plain | | | | outside world for the patient. When we are |
| common sense. Your friend or loved one will | | | | sick, we do not have the energy, ability or time |
| appreciate you finding out a convenient time to | | | | to do simple things, but quite often those are the |
| visit. Some times a patient has had too many | | | | very things we worry about not getting done. |
| visitors, has gone through painful treatments or | | | | Picking up mail, helping go through bills, watering |
| just needs to nap. If the person is sick at home | | | | the lawn, or even cooking meals, can truly make |
| and being cared for by a caregiver, knowing when | | | | someone’s day. What might seem like an |
| you are coming may give that person a chance | | | | easy task for you can really help someone who is |
| to run errands or plan for some personal time | | | | too sick to do these things for themselves or |
| alone. At least it will give them a chance to tidy | | | | their own family. |
| up the room or help the patient get ready for | | | | It is very hard not to be able to do for yourself. |
| your visit. I know I have wished people had called | | | | Many times when I am not feeling well, I might be |
| first when I was receiving visitors, because I | | | | too embarrassed to ask for help, but I am very |
| might not have been dressed appropriately and a | | | | happy to accept it when it is offered. |
| robe or change of clothes would have made me | | | | 7. Don’t be afraid to sit in silence. As with |
| more comfortable, etc. | | | | any situation where we are trying to bring |
| The simple act of a phone call creates the | | | | comfort and friendship to someone who is |
| anticipation of a visit, something to look forward | | | | suffering, the primary statement we can make is |
| to. Calling in advance also puts the patient in | | | | not through any words we speak, but through |
| charge. Being sick often results in a forced | | | | our presence. Do not force conversation, but let it |
| passivity. When you phone and ask if it is all right | | | | come naturally. Fight the need to fill up every bit |
| to visit, the patient is able to exercise some | | | | of silence. Just being a good friend and making the |
| control in whether they feel up to visitors at that | | | | effort to be there is enough. |
| time. | | | | If you can’t think of anything to talk |
| 2. Do your research. If the person you are visiting | | | | about, feel free to simply say, I love you, I care |
| is in a hospital or rehab facility, then call ahead to | | | | and I am here for you if you need me. Those |
| see when visiting hours are. Ask if there are any | | | | few simple words will mean more to the person |
| other restrictions. Some facilities do not allow | | | | then you will ever know, and will definitely be |
| children or pets. Find out if it is all right for the | | | | better then making up chatter. |
| patient to receive flowers or food of any kind. | | | | 8. Help the Helper. Besides being the patient, there |
| You do not want to bring your friend's favorite | | | | is nothing harder then being the primary caregiver. |
| brand of chocolate, only to find out that they are | | | | Most times these are the people that are right |
| on a special diet and can not eat it right now. | | | | there with the patient, often both day and night. |
| Inquire as to what you are allowed to bring. Can | | | | The caregiver has the daunting task of trying to |
| the patient eat food brought in from the outside? | | | | juggle the life outside and the life with the person |
| Can she have flowers etc? Some patients are | | | | who is sick. Usually they are going on little or no |
| very sensitive to perfumes or smells, so check if | | | | sleep and are filled with worry and concern for |
| this is the case and leave those types of things | | | | the one they love, while trying to show a strong |
| at home. The most important point here is to ask | | | | face. Ask if you can help them in any way also. |
| questions. | | | | Offer to baby-sit kids, even for a ½ hour, |
| 3. Don’t plan on a long visit. Hospital | | | | make dinner, or offer to order in, ask if they |
| patients have a busy schedule and sick people | | | | want you to go get a rental movie or if you can |
| often tire easily. It is better to visit briefly but | | | | sit and talk with the patient while they shower or |
| more often, than to visit once for a long time. | | | | make phone calls, etc. |
| When the patient tires, leave courteously with a | | | | 9. Prepare for when they come home. Depending |
| promise to return another time or to call. Stay | | | | on how long the patient is in the hospital, or |
| long enough to put a smile on their face, but not | | | | depending how long the person has been sick, it |
| too long as to see their smile tire. Most people | | | | might be hard to get back into the swing of a |
| would rather have many visits, then one long | | | | normal daily routine. Offer to help with laundry or |
| dragged out one. | | | | help clean or dust so they come home to a less |
| This should also help to put the visitor at ease. If | | | | stale smelling place. Help clean out the fridge, or |
| you plan on a short visit, you do not need to | | | | maybe help re-stock it before they get home. |
| worry about what to say or how to fill up | | | | Open the windows and let some fresh air in. If |
| time. A 15-20 minute visit is just long enough to | | | | they need help now to do things, offer to drive |
| say hello, catch up, help out and leave. You can | | | | them to the store or doctor’s |
| play a game for 20 minutes, or take a walk. Stay | | | | appointments. It is the little things that go a long |
| as long as the patient wants. | | | | way to make the patient feel back at home. |
| 4. Bring the patient a small gift. This is not about | | | | 10. Do not forget about them the second they |
| money spent- the gift can be something you | | | | get better. Being sick gives you many different |
| made, like a card. Let’s face facts, we all | | | | types of attention, whether you like it or not and |
| like receiving gifts, especially when we are not | | | | the fact is that it can be very lonely when it all |
| feeling our best. A newspaper or magazine can | | | | goes away. I have heard from many patients |
| reinforce a sense of connection to the outside | | | | that the worst thing about being sick is when |
| world. Besides being pretty- flowers, plants or | | | | they started to feel better! That is when they |
| cards leave tangible evidence of the visit. I | | | | were alone with no one offering to help or to lift |
| remember when I was in the hospital I spent | | | | their spirits. Still make visits, send cards or offer |
| hours looking at my wall of cards and | | | | to help for the next few weeks during this |
| reminisced about who came to visit me. It always | | | | transitional time. They might not need the same |
| brought a smile to my face, even if it was days | | | | things, and it might not feel as urgent but |
| after the person left. | | | | still visit. They need to feel loved now too. They |
| Bring something that can be a distraction after | | | | need the strength to continue to feel better. |
| you have left. Crossword puzzle books, reading | | | | Do Something! All the tips listed above are to help |
| books, even lotto scratch off’s. Anything | | | | you, but they are not rules. Do what your |
| that they can easily do on their own. Many places | | | | heart tells you to do. Do what you feel is best. It |
| do not allow visitors after certain hours, so your | | | | is never too late and no gesture is ever too small. |
| gift will help with the boredom at night and be a | | | | If it is from you then it is just right. |